Merry Christmas: Five Favourite Non-Christmas Christmas Movies

It’s nearly Christmas again. If you’re anything like me, Christmas always feels like too much. It’s loud, it’s bright, the shops are too full, people are deceptively nice without actually meaning it, and Mariah Carey always seems to be one step behind me. One of the hallmarks of Christmas in North America is the Christmas movie. Going back to the earliest days of cinema with the short film Santa Claus (1898), Christmas-themed movies are a staple of Hollywood.

It seems like everyone has a favourite Christmas movie. It may be the iconic family-comedy Home Alone (1990) or the tongue-in-cheek A Muppet Christmas Carol (1992). Perhaps you prefer something more classic like Rankin/Bass animated special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) or the timeless It’s a Wonderful Life (1946). Maybe you enjoy the chaos of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) or the goofiness of Elf (2003).

Personally, while many of these options are good, I don’t consider them to be my favourite ways to celebrate the holidays. My favourite Christmas movies are the Christmas movies that don’t really count as Christmas movies. “Non-Christmas Christmas movies” if you will. These are movies that use Christmas as a backdrop for some other purpose not often seen in a Christmas movie. These are the action films, comedies, horrors, and sizzling romances that don’t often agree with the magical air of purity associated with Christmas.

Perhaps you can find some solace, just as I have, in the wonderful world of non-Christmas Christmas movies. Here are five of my favourites.

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Batman Returns (1992)

Christmas in Gotham City. © Warner Bros. Pictures.

The second entry in the strange, gothic world of the Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher Batman quartet is a Christmas movie! Batman Returns is Michael Keaton’s second appearance — but now, no longer final appearance — as the caped crusader and this time he's facing off against the Penguin (Danny DeVito) and Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer). Penguin, although he’d prefer to be called by his birthname Oswald Cobblepot, is a sewer-raised, grotesque man hell-bent on getting his revenge on the ruling class of Gotham-ites that rejected him as a baby. Catwoman is the alter-ego of former receptionist Selina Kyle looking for revenge on the man who abused her. Batman and Penguin push and pull at Catwoman’s loyalty as Gotham City is brought to its knees.

Set during the Christmas celebrations in snowy Gotham city, Batman Returns is covered in the signature Burton Christmas spirit made famous through The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) — although Burton only produced the latter. Tim Burton’s unique and well-known directorial style results in a twisted, nightmarish Christmas holiday that complements his already bizarre and exaggerated version of the Batman mythology. Batman Returns is also marked by some significant parental backlash at the time of its release when Warner Bros. entered a deal to market their dark, brooding, and violent film to children via McDonald’s Happy Meals. Perhaps the most unusual part of this film is that Batman is largely relegated to a supporting position in the cast with the Penguin dominating the film’s runtime.

So, before Catwoman and Penguin are dusted off by Zoë Kravitz and Colin Farrell for the upcoming The Batman (2022), why not check out one of their earlier appearances, now almost thirty years old, that serves as an important stepping stone in the evolution of the Dark Knight’s mythology. It’s funny, dark, and full of demented Christmas charm — what could be better?

Directed by Tim Burton.

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Black Christmas (1974)

Olivia Hussey in Black Christmas (1974). © Telefilm Canada.

Black Christmas is perhaps the most Scrooge-ish viewing choice on this list. While the rest of the films here take some joy in the season, Black Christmas is an active revolt against the surreal magic of the holiday spirit. Set in a sorority house during the last days before the Christmas holidays, an unseen stalker begins preying on the young women who live there. As the bodies begin to pile up and the snow sets in, you can’t help but experience a profound sense of dread and hopelessness.

On a historical note, Black Christmas is one of the earliest examples of the slasher subgenre and was a major inspiration for John Carpenter’s Halloween (1979) and did the killer-on-the-phone trick long before Scream (1996). The film is full of the grit and tragedy that defined so much of 70s filmmaking, especially horror filmmaking. It has the same intrinsic lack of empathy that defines The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). Black Christmas is haunting, vacant, nihilistic, and incredibly seasonal. It’s the perfect way to ruin the holiday.

This movie is also an entirely Canadian production! If you want to check out some local filmmaking this Christmas, make Black Christmas one of those movies.

Directed by Bob Clark.

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Carol (2015)

Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara in Carol (2015).

Carol is probably the most “classic” of the movies on this list. While the Christmas season is still used here as set decoration rather than an element of the plot, the film is a romance, a staple of many other Holiday features. The film stars the dazzling duo of Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara and is about the romantic relationship between a young photographer (Mara) and an older woman in the middle of her divorce (Blanchett). Sparks fly between the two women as they navigate the treacherous, homophobic world of the 50s.

The film is based on the novel The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith. The novel was first published under the pseudonym “Claire Morgan” in 1952, but then later republished in 1990 with the new title Carol and Highsmith’s real name attached to the cover. The novel has an important place in the history of queer literature as an early example of a gay American romance with a happy enough ending, a rarity at the time.

Screenwriter Phyllis Nagy has been working on getting the film made since 1997 when she wrote her first draft. The struggle was worth it because the result of her labour is a powerful, moving film that is worthy of its universal acclaim. Blanchett and Mara are electric together and the work of director Todd Haynes is soft and intimate. It’s an emotional, often difficult film, but it comes from a place of genuineness and honesty.

Why not spice up your holidays with something a little more thoughtful and engaging than the usual Christmas-y romance?

Directed by Todd Haynes.

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Die Hard (1988)

Bruce Willis in Die Hard (1988). © 20th Century Fox.

The debate over whether or not Die Hard is or is not a Christmas film has been an ongoing discussion and it seems like everyone, regardless of whether or not they’ve even seen the film, has an opinion on the matter. Die Hard is the model for all non-Christmas Christmas movies that followed and the defining example of the category. While maybe it feels a little lazy to include it on this list because of how iconic it is, I would feel remiss if I neglected to mention it.

The Bruce Willis-starring action flick is one of the most famous and endearing action films of the 1980s. Die Hard is ridiculously uncomplicated but decidedly inventive. The action is contained to a single building and focuses on intensity and style rather than spectacle. The script is quick-witted and sharp and the characters are believable and human. The editing and cinematography are kinetic and intense. It’s also incredibly funny with two stellar performances from Willis and the late, great Alan Rickman. It’s a movie that will impress you with how tactile and straightforward it is. Good action filmmaking doesn’t have to always be CGI-filled spectacular events, unlike what most modern filmmakers seem to think. 

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? The jury seems to still be out, however, I can promise that Die Hard will certainly entertain this holiday season. It’s a reminder of the strengths of simplicity in filmmaking and just how much more magical the Christmas season makes everything — even action films about terrorists and a man with no shoes.

Directed by John McTiernan.

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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005). © Warner Bros. Pictures.

Eight years before the actor-director duo released Iron Man 3 (2013), a film that also falls under the “non-Christmas Christmas movie” umbrella, Robert Downey Jr. and Shane Black made Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a black comedy crime film. It’s a loving and satirical ode to hardboiled detective novels and the genre of neo-noir. The film is about former child magician and current petty thief Harry Lockhart (Downey) who arrives in LA after booking accidentally a screen test. At a party, he meets Harmony Lane (Michelle Monaghan) and “Gay” Perry van Shrike (Val Kilmer). When researching for Harold’s audition, he and Perry uncover a body that sends them down a hole on fraud, feuds, and murder in the underbelly of Hollywood.

Kilmer and Downey are the film’s two highlights with their brilliant banter and hilarious performances. The script’s tongue-in-cheek comedy and fourth-wall-breaking moments keep the film moving at a frantic clip with jokes coming at the viewer every which way. Shane Black has a stylish directorial style that emanates charisma at every turn. While not as strong as his other sleazy LA crime comedy The Nice Guys (2016) or the aforementioned Iron Man 3, the film remains a total gem and criminally underappreciated. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a fantastic meta-narrative and a hilariously antisocial Christmas movie. It’s a mess of mistaken identities and hidden motivations wrapped up on a comedic, seasonal package. 

Many have expressed remorse at the fact that we will most likely never see a sequel to The Nice Guys. Little do they realize that The Nice Guys is actually Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 2.

Directed by Shane Black.

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And those are five of my favourite non-Christmas Christmas movies. There are plenty of other films that fit into the category and others that have strong winter vibes throughout being about Christmas that I like to enjoy this time of year, but I thought I would limit myself in this list. I love watching seasonally appropriate films and Christmas always provides an opportunity to make those viewing choices a little less traditional. It’s the Christmas of the macabre, the dark, the beautiful, and the irreverent.

Merry Christmas, everyone.